Chapter Nine-Heart of Pain
C A L E B acted as if he had been slapped.
“So what if you told me. You could say anything.” Caleb held the tears in longer just enough for Matthew to talk once more and then disappear into the jungle.
“What if it was true?”
“How would you know!” Caleb yelled.
Matthew took notice of his tears. “I win. I always win, don’t I? I predicted you crying in public, like a two-year-old. I also predicted you immediately pitying that blind animal of yours. There’s a lot I could tell you. But I wouldn’t want to cause you more humiliation in front of your friends. They took it much better than you did.”
“Matthias.” Avery gasped in horror.
Matthew left.
The crowd watched Caleb.
He stood there silently. He turned to Andrew. “You knew? You knew all this time?”
Andrew couldn’t speak.
Avery stepped in. “We couldn’t hurt you like this, not now.”
Marion agreed. “I’m so sorry, Caleb.”
Theodore stepped out of the crowd and put his hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Do you want me to stay out here with you?”
Caleb shook his head. “No. It’s getting dark. It’s going to storm. It’s best you go along with the others.”
Theodore nodded.
As hours went by, he was all alone in the middle of a storm. His clothes were stained brown from the mud and his heart was a heart of pain.
“No. No. No!” Caleb woke up with a gasp.
He was still in the forest. All by himself. The sun was shining and he could still feel a few drops of rain falling. Just in between the blankets of trees there was an opening. Caleb saw a rainbow just in the middle. Caleb remembered God’s promise. But he didn’t want to ever see Matthew again. How could he? How could Matthew possibly know something like that before Caleb?
Caleb cried. A long, hard, painful cry.
Why? Why?
It was dark. Probably long after everyone fell asleep. Caleb found his way to the house since it was still lit up.
He opened the door and saw his friends sitting on the couch awake.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb asked.
Marion stood up and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. “Caleb—you’ve been gone for hours, we were worried.”
Caleb smiled gently. “You…you all waited for me? All this time?”
Andrew came and gave him a comforting hug. “You’re my friend. And that’s what friends do.”
Caleb went home for the funeral. It was hard to believe that now both his parents were gone. He lost them both within three short years.
As Caleb walked along the sidewalk leading to his house, he spotted something. Someone in an alleyway. Someone shivering and coughing.
“Wait…” Caleb squinted to see through the dark.
“Uncle?” Caleb ran and knelt down by his uncle’s side.
Uncle Lawrence’s face was cold and stiff. He was bleeding.
“Uncle? Uncle, you’ve been shot! Wake up!”
He didn’t stir. His eyes opened just a bit to see Caleb’s face before him. “Ca…Caleb…how…how are you here?” He whispered and choked on blood.
Caleb was horrified. “Uncle, what happened?”
Uncle Lawrence smiled. “I…I thought I’d die alone.”
Caleb cried. “No, you’re not gonna die, it isn’t true, you’ll be alright. I know you will. You have to be! Uncle, you’re not saved! If you die now—”
“Leave me to die in peace.”
Caleb held his uncle’s head in his arms and he tried to wrap a piece of cloth around him to stop the bleeding.
“No. Don’t. It’s no use.”
“Uncle, stop it! You’ll be alright! I can’t lose you too. I can save you, I know I can, just let me try!” Caleb pulled out his Bible and read: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” Caleb stopped to breathe. “Do you believe it? Repent, and love Him! He’ll forgive you, but you have to repent!”
It was storming now. Caleb was losing him to the vast jaws of death.
Uncle Lawrence chuckled but choked on more blood. “Caleb. It’s too late for me.”
“No, it’s not! It’s not!”
Uncle Lawrence reached his bloody hand and felt Caleb’s tear stained face. “Tell Theodore…tell him I love him.” He laid back his head and breathed in his last breath. Uncle Lawrence was dead.
Caleb held his dead uncle in his arms. He seemed to be frozen with shock. “No.” He looked down at his uncle’s lifeless face.
Caleb returned to Peru. They had buried Uncle Lawrence next to his father. Theodore did not know yet. It would be better to hear it from Caleb himself than from others.
Theodore sat on a log by a campfire.
Caleb breathed deeply. Theodore was so happy, so content right now.
“Theodore…I have to talk to you.”
Theodore looked up. “What’s wrong?”
“Alone, I mean. I have to show you something as well.”
Theodore stood up. “Where?”
Caleb took Theodore’s hand. “You’ll see.”
Through the forests they went and through swampy areas and hundreds of trees.
Theodore stopped. “Do you hear that?”
Caleb smiled, still having tears run down his face. “Yes. It’s water.” Caleb led Theodore to the wonder he had found only a few nights earlier.
Theodore gasped in awe. “It’s—it’s a waterfall, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Caleb took Theodore to a seat by the water.
There they sat quietly.
Theodore broke the silence. “Why did you take me here?” His face looked so healthy now, so young. How he didn’t know what tragic news was to follow, disturbed Caleb.
“Theodore…I—I—” Caleb cried.
“Caleb, are you crying? It’s alright.” Theodore wrapped his hand around Caleb’s shoulder. “What’s wrong? Tell me, what is it?”
Caleb looked into his cousin’s unseeing eyes. He thought that maybe if Theodore could see, he would know what had happened and Caleb wouldn’t need to tell him.
“Your father…”
“Yes?”
“He…he…he didn’t go back to Florida like he said. He’s…”
“Is he coming here?”
“No, no, he’s—well you won’t be able to see him.”
“Why?”
“Theo…he died.”
The great rushing of the water suddenly seemed to become silent.
“What?” Theodore stared in shock.
Caleb let loose his tears. “I tried to save him. But—but there was nothing I could do. I’m sorry, Theodore. I’m sorry. But there was nothing I could have done!”
“He’s dead? My father is dead?” Theodore stood up and almost stumbled. “No, no! He can’t be! He’s not! He can’t be!”
“He told me to tell you he loves you!”
“No!” Theodore cried harder than ever before. “Father, no.” He buried his face in his hands.
Caleb wrapped his arms around him. “It’s gonna be okay. I will always love you and take care of you. You are my brother now, ok?” Caleb made him look at him. “It’s going to be alright.. You’re going to be fine.”
“It’s all my fault, I know it is!”
“No, it’s not. How could it possibly be your fault?”
“If I could have just hung on—if I would’ve never went blind, we could have done the horses together. He wouldn’t have needed to gamble or get in trouble, he would’ve been fine!” The tears streamed down his face.
“Gamble? What are you saying?”
“I told you, he wanted you to help him, because he knew I couldn’t. When you said no…he gambled thousands of dollars and when he wouldn’t pay them…they threatened him.”
Caleb’s eyes grew wide. “Someone murdered him?”
Theodore looked down. “Yes. It’s—it’s all my fault, I—”
“Listen!” Caleb put a hand on each shoulder. “Listen now! These things happen, it’s no one’s fault! It has nothing to do with that, nothing! You’re still a person with feelings, thoughts, emotions, great ideas—” Caleb stopped to breathe. “Now listen. You’re going to be alright. Your father loved you. And I love you. You’re going to be alright.” Caleb hugged him close. “And Jesus loves you. Always remember that.” Caleb tried to soothe him.
Theodore looked so tired and worn. “I don’t have a reason to live anymore.”
Caleb looked at him. “What are you talking about? Can you even hear yourself?”
“I can hear myself fine. I’m not deaf too.”
Caleb didn’t know what to do. He did what he thought was the only option at this point. “I have a reason to live.”
“I know you do.”
“Do you know what?”
“It could be anything.”
“It’s God. He’s my reason. He gave me a purpose. And He’ll give you one too.”
“What could I do?” Theodore scoffed.
“Trust Him. Love Him. He’ll always be there.” Caleb stood up on a fallen tree and said confidently, “I have decided to follow Jesus. Will you?” Caleb held out his hand.
Theodore hesitated. “What if He hates me?”
Caleb smiled with tears. “He won’t. Take my hand.”
Theodore slowly took his hand and stood up.
Caleb hugged him. “Will you follow Him?”
Theodore backed away. “I—I don’t know.
Caleb repeated himself louder. “Will you follow Him?”
Theodore closed his eyes. “I will.”
“Will you love Him?”
“I will.”
“Will you trust Him and pray to Him, and have faith in Him?”
Theodore opened his eyes and smiled softly. “I will.”
As he hugged him, Caleb stroked his hair and whispered, “Everything will be just fine. You are now a citizen of the faith, and have earned a place in heaven.”
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